Magus, Extraria, Et Draco
by AmperDavid
Summary: Yet another 'Dimentio escapes the Underwhere for revenge' story. An overplayed idea returns yet again, this time from an author who thinks he's putting an Amperial twist on it.
1. Chapter 1

Ice.

Ice above.

Ice below.

Ice in front.

Ice behind.

Ice to the left.

Ice to the right.

Ice in the heart.

Ice in the mind.

Ice in the body.

The ninth circle of the Underwhere was a very cold place, and the deepest, darkest part of the realm.

Dimentio managed to see something other than ice, namely, the brute in the next cell. That beast continued to pound and slash at the ice walls of the cell with sharp claws.

"You've been doing that for over twenty years. Stop already." The creature roared and screeched at him, then started ramming the wall between them. Dimentio sighed. "Has it really been twenty years? Or has it been twenty centuries? Twenty decades? Twenty seconds?" Time passes strangely in Bonechill's realm, to the point where he suspected the cold had stopped it entirely. Time… Frozen time… Dimentio had an idea. "Do you want to escape?" The brute glared, but nodded. Large, hunched shoulders rippled as Dimentio's fellow prisoner put an arm against the wall. "Listen closely." He had been given an eternity in this prison, and for that purpose, he was left with the power to speed up or slow down time, as it wouldn't help him any… or so Jaydes had thought.

* * *

Bowser ducked as the crimson training dummy attempted to jump on him, then punched the verdant one as it walked up to him.

"KAMEK, I DON'T SEE THE POINT OF THIS!"

"Trust me, sire, it will help." The next red one tried to hammer him, and Bowser punched it away. He ducked into his shell as the green one rocketed into the air.

"He shouldn't, " Army Hammer Bro mumbled."You're just letting him do what he always does: Destroy all his foes." Kamek continued to focus on animating his constructs.

"Now that that's finished, sire, we'll work on another problem area." Strange training dummies popped up: One in a purple sundress, one wearing yellow and purple, one wearing purple and black, one with a mushroom cap, one wearing a yellow ball gown, and one wearing a pink ball gown.

Bowser rolled forward, snatched the pink one, and bellowed, "DIE!" A long, strong burst of yellow-hot flames destroyed the rest. He laughed madly... Until the pink princess training dummy started beating him over the head with a parasol. "Ow! Ow! STOP!" He slammed her head against his, right between his horns. She stopped, and the display that would be the real deal's face changed from a red angry face to a cluster of green 'Zzz...'

"Excellent work, sire." Bowser smirked and threw the training dummy at the wall, shattering it.

"YEAH! I am the BEST!"

* * *

Amperial Note: And thus begins a Cancer's Claws Publishers production. R&R, I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

The brute had most of its body pressed against the wall between their cells, and Dimentio sped up its timeflow. He wasn't sure whether his odd partner was too much of a fungal creature to produce body heat, but if it wasn't, this would work out. Luckily, there was soon a noticeable thinning of the wall. He ended the spell.

"Destroy it, then lean on the bars to your cell." The brute hit the wall, and the thin ice shattered. Dimentio once again sped up the flow of time once the brute was leaning against the wall that connected the cell to the hallway where Skellobits paced. In a short amount of time (relative to the pacing Skellobits), the wall had melted enough for his partner to break the door. With a wild charge, all the guards were defeated. The brute roared something in her native language, and Dimentio walked out and got onto her back. While she was unfamiliar with the two-dimensional physics of this world, Dimentio could easily bring her into a more familiar three-dimensional environment... once they escaped. "Climb this wall."

* * *

In the torchlit throne room, a throng of Koopas, Goombas, and other assorted baddies waited. After a few seconds without an appearance of their monarch, they started chatting.

"So, Johnson, how are the kids?"

"Oh, you know, just fine. Healthy. One memorized a few chapters of the history book! Word for word!" The Hammer Bro grimaced. "He's trying to be some sort of damn intellectual. He needs to learn to like tossing hammers, or boomerangs, or fire or ice or something. Nerd." The Magikoopa who asked him was visually put off by this speech, but said nothing in response.

Bowser stomped in front of his legions.

"MINIONS!" he bellowed, attempting to get their attention. They all started cheering, and he smiled. After a few minutes of that, he continued. "ENOUGH! MINIONS, LISTEN UP!" They all fell silent.

"TODAY! WE! STORM! **MUSHROOM CAAAAASTLLLLLLLLE**!" All the minions started cheering again and prepared to charge out of the door all the way to the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser soared over their heads from his throne to the door with a mighty leap. He punched the door open.

_**"CHAAAAAAAAARGE!"**_

* * *

About halfway up, bits of Dimentio's magic began to return. He couldn't yet teleport, but he could hover. He hopped off and floated by his odd friend as she climbed.

"...If you'd like, I could..." He stopped when she glared at him. "If you insist on climbing endlessly like a gorilla carrying a maiden, I shall let you." Her sharp pincers did aid her ascent. But her usefulness hadn't ended just yet. He would accompany her on her way up, help her fend off D-men, earn her trust, then make an alliance. The Heroes of Light would fall. He smiled as he regained the ability to flip into 3D. He flipped, and to his surprise, his friend was a three-dimensional entity, similar to Cursyas and Spanias. She looked at him again, still angry and now somewhat confused by the noise he had just made. He smiled oddly. "Your confusion shows on your face like an egg of embarrassment. Worry not; simply know that I am getting more powerful the higher we go, like the aforementioned gorilla." She looked at him with distrust, but kept climbing. She would reach the surface, destroy the mushroom folk, and take the paradise they squandered as her own, even if she had to do so herself... or with this fool.

When she reached the outside of the ice pit, she bellowed, "WE ESCAPE!" She swung her arm and knocked over a few D-men.

"Farewell, Jaydes." Dimentio teleported out of the Underwhere with his new pawn.


	3. Chapter 3

"Some gotta start, some gotta be a part of started things." -Lloyd Ahlquist

* * *

In the Mario brothers' house, it was a calm day. There had been 'calm days' for nearly two weeks. Luigi was getting fidgety. However, now was tea time. Luigi brought the hot water to the table in the cozy little kitchen, and both he and his brother sat down to enjoy cups of tea. Luigi sighed.

"It's nice and quiet around here, bro."

Mario nodded.

"Yeah, very quiet."

Mario nodded again and took another sip of his tea. Luigi continued.

"...Though I do find myself craving another adventure..."

Mario nearly spat out his tea. He fervently shook his head.

"Well, if you're comfortable just sitting here, I guess it's just my hero fantasies flaring up again..."

Mario rolled his eyes.

"You're right, Mario. They ought to be sated, with all our heroic deeds and fame and such. But they're not, y'know?"

Mario sighed.

"Don't be like that, bro. I guess I just need a steady diet of my own heroics, just so I don't feel like I'm riding on your fame."

Mario looked at him inquisitively.

"I don't know, bro. Just sometimes, I feel like all my fame comes from you. But when we're out in the fray, fighting together, I know that I earn the fans I have."

Mario smiled.

"Thanks, bro. I love our chats. But you're right: We're not quite ready for a-"

"MAAAAAARIO! HELP! THE CASTLE'S UNDER ATTACK!"

Mario gave Luigi one of those looks and headed out. Luigi followed.

"I did NOT jinx us!"

* * *

"It's quite simple. You shall capture the fair-haired princess, while I wait invisibly for the mustachioed men."

"NO."

"Ah, something a bit more personal with those two? Alright. I shall seize the ravishing lady, and you shall lie in wait for the mustache brothers." He got a nod as response. "And so we begin phase one, as so many have before us..."

* * *

Bowser stomped through Toad town, only to find that its residents were already panicking. "MINIONS! KEEP MOVING! WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TORMENT THE MUSHROOMS!" Bowser marched to the castle and noticed that the front door was already removed. He laughed heartily. "Looks like Peach is doing all the work for me!" He stomped through, ignoring all the unconscious and dead Mushroom Retainers. He strolled into the next room, and saw familiar, yellow and purple jester. Happy Bowser was gone, all that remained was pure rage.

"YOU'RE DEAD, CLOWN!" Bowser shouted, breathing waves of fire towards Dimentio, which all parted around the magician.

"Yes, but like a harp-wielding musician, I have returned from the dep-"

"SHUT UP!" Bowser pointed dramatically, a signal for his minions to swarm... But Dimentio had cast a barrier across the doorframe behind Bowser, and his minions could not break it. Bowser himself charged at Dimentio, intent on stomping this fool yet again. Dimentio teleported out of the way, bringing Peach with him.

"As much as I'd like to play your games, Bowser, I have more important matters to attend to. I have one of the Heroes, the other two are preoccupied, and a friend of mine shall defeat you like the man in red does..." Dimentio warped away. Bowser roared.

"COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT!"

* * *

Mario and Luigi ran up to the castle, then into the expansive foyer. Before they could go any farther, Mario's danger sense kicked in, and he pushed Luigi back. They narrowly avoided the immense creature's fall from the ceiling. Their eyes widened. It couldn't be, yet it was...

The older of the two Shroob princesses stood before them.

"RED AND GREEN!" She was the most fluent of her race in the language the Mario Bros. spoke, but her accent was... unworldly. "I SHALL HOLD A CELEBRATION UPON YOUR CORPSES!" They heard Bowser shouting at someone, but it seemed neither he nor his opponent had Peach. But they had a more important matter to attend to.

"Luigi."

Luigi shivered.

"Luigi!"

Luigi shuddered, but turned around.

"Let'sa go!"

"Okie-dokie..."

They readied their hammers as Princess Shroob charged at them.

**ELDER PRINCESS SHROOB**

Alien Monarch


	4. Chapter 4

"Everybody knows one - one pawn who won't stop..." -Lloyd Ahlquist

* * *

**OC ALERT: **THIS CHAPTER MARKS THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER. THOSE HOPING FOR A STORY WITHOUT ORIGINAL CHARACTERS SHOULD TURN BACK.

* * *

The floor rumbled, and suddenly, a shell covered in silver spikes surfaced from underground. Bowser growled, "_Another_ fool copying my style... COME ON!" The koopa with the black shell stood, revealing an earthen brown body, a pink underbelly, bushy blue eyebrows, and a wild stream of cerulean hair.

"GWAHAHAHA! _Esne tu Rex Bowser_? I guess that your reputation-" Bowser does not like babbling idiots.

"BURN!" Bowser commanded, breathing a strong stream of flames. With a roar of pain, his doppelganger curled into a ball and soared into the air, with his entire shell covered in fire. Bowser laughed. "BWAHAHAHA! If you can't take the heat, don't step to the Koopa King!" His minions cheered... then the other koopa, no longer on fire, landed on him. "GAAAAH!" They both glared at each other, then backed up. All of Bowser's minions began calling for his victory.

* * *

**?**

Tutorial Battle

Bowser smiled and approached, ready to punch this fool in the face. What he didn't expect was for his fist to meet his opponent's. Both were thrown back a step, and Bowser backed off.

His opponent reared back for a punch, and Bowser countered in the same way. Bowser's opponent then curled into a spike ball again and tried to jump on Bowser, but Bowser ducked. Bowser punched his opponent as the latter uncurled, and all his minions applauded. A magikoopa in the front said something, but it couldn't be heard. All the magikoopas gathered, held their wands together, and bowed their heads in concentration...

Bowser's opponent held his head and swayed a little. Bowser laughed. "Feeling under the weather, copycat? I'll finish this with a burst of the royal fire!" Bowser built up another burst of flame, but just as he started to shoot it, his opponent... sneezed? A cyclonic wind came from his opponent, dispelling the flames, but then Bowser's opponent fell to his knees. Bowser took this opportunity to walk up to him and punch him in the face, causing him to roll backwards until he slammed into the wall.

"Ugh... What happened? That was **not **the glory of Rome..." he muttered. The barrier disappeared, and Kamek floated in.

"That's to be expected, as we weakened you using the willpower of the entire Koopa Troop. If you have a problem with our king, you have a problem with us." Kamek levitated Bowser's doppelganger, then sent him flying with a swipe of his wand, and the imitator seemed to vanish. Kamek then rushed to Bowser's side. "Sire, are you hurt?"

Bowser laughed. "Am I HURT? He didn't even touch me! Time to stomp that clown the same way!" Kamek tossed a spicy drumstick in Bowser's general direction, and Bowser swallowed it.

"**MINIONS!**" They all stood attention. "GO HOME! THE INVASION'S CANCELED!" They all eventually meandered away, some more disappointed than others.

Rather quietly, to himself, Bowser added, "But the capture of Peach is not over... not yet..." Bowser stormed in a different direction, intent on finding where Dimentio had gone.

* * *

Elder Princess Shroob held both Mario brothers in the air by their necks. "I WIN!" She slammed them into the wall. "MUSHROOM HEADS WILL BURST!" She slammed them into the wall again. "I WILL REIGN-" She abruptly disappeared, and the gravely wounded Mario brothers fell to the ground.

"Our friend failed," Dimentio stated from his position on the unconscious dragon koopa. "And it appears you did as well."

Princess Shroob bellowed, "I HAD THEM! THEY WERE DYING! YOU TOOK ME AWAY!"

"Now's not the time for blame, my lady. For we have secured one of the Heroes of Light." Dimentio revealed an unconscious Peach. Princess Shroob had no idea what he meant. This stupid human wasn't any sort of hero; all she did was get conquered. Still, it was interesting seeing her again...


	5. Chapter 5

Bowser stomped out of Peach's castle. Where to go... Where would that clown be? Bowser snarled. He had no idea where the jester would be, but it wouldn't be anywhere he could reach without magic...

Well, maybe it was. Bowser closed his eyes and focused. Dimentio! That was the clown's name!

Now where would he be? The majority of Bowser's brain cells had lain dormant for so long; now he asked them to work for him harder than any minion. Dimentio's secret lair, if in this dimension, would likely be...

He opened his eyes as he let his more powerful brain cells fall asleep again. "GOT IT!"

* * *

The dragon awoke.

"Dimentio, I-"

"Say nothing of it. I already know." Dimentio and the Elder Princess Shroob were standing by the window.

"FAILURE," Princess Shroob snarled.

"Not quite. You see, like any other villain, I have a contingency plan. You did more than enough, my lady, and you," he addressed the monstrous koopa, "...not quite enough. The arm-flailer is conscious and has retained all of his limited mental faculties." The dragon sighed.

"I'll do better next time, Dimentio."

"You had better. For now, you and the princess shall observe." He teleported away.

* * *

Bowser continued along, squashing small creatures and immolating big creatures. He laughed and defeated another T. T. Outskirts Guard with one punch.

"Man, you wimpy mushrooms are great for relieving stress!" He looked around. "This way!" He stomped over to a raft and punched the wall hard enough to send the raft sailing in the opposite direction. He used the same technique to rebound off a few rocks, then grounded the raft on shore elsewhere.

"Okay... Where am I?" He looked around. Bowser continued across the sandy island, incinerating all the little blue creatures. He needed to get to Dimentio's base... or to his own... He spotted a pipe and trudged through it. He ended up in a town that reminded him of Toad Town, and for once ignored the urge to burn everything.

"YOU! GREEN PERSON! WHERE AM I?"

"Uh, Beanbean Castle Town..." Bowser stormed off somewhere else. "Mr. Loud Angry Turtle! Where are you going?" Bowser nonchalantly spat a fireball at the Beanbean citizen.

"Home."

* * *

Dimentio returned with a plumber. Elder Princess Shroob roared, but Dimentio trapped her in a magic box before she could charge.

"No. This man may have ruined each of our dreams of new worlds, but he will be converted to our side, like a rock-worshiper learning magic... He will help our cause, and the brothers shall duel like gleaming banjos on a moonlit stoop."

The dragon koopa murmured, "You've used that one before..."


	6. Chapter 6

Bowser continued through the outskirts of Beanbean Castle Town the same way he did through the outskirts of Toad Town: Punching and immolating the guards as he tried to find somewhere to go.

Back to his castle. Definitely.

He remembered the purplish region he ended up in, and remembered it was near the Mushroom Kingdom. From the border, he walked towards Toad Town. He scared off the guards and went underground. He hadn't seen any reason to get rid of the tunnel itself, but he had an enormous door constructed so that people wouldn't simply follow the train tracks directly into his treasure room. After unlocking it and uncharacteristically making sure to close and lock it again, he entered his castle.

"Minions, I have returned! Hold your applause!" He headed back to his throne and sat in it. "No visitors. Kamek, tell me how to reach Dimentio."

* * *

Elder Princess Shroob confronted Dimentio. She first pointed to Peach.

"SHE IS HERE." She pointed to the plumber. "HE IS HERE. NONE GUARD THE KINGDOM. I WILL TAKE IT."

"No. I need you to go to the ice kingdom and scatter the... items, as an enormous sword scatters stars. Here is a list that uses pictographs."

Princess Shroob completely disregarded Dimentio's statement and departed. Dimentio sighed.

"I suppose I shall have to do this myself, then..." He teleported out.

* * *

"You see, my liege, Dimentio is very, very loved by a different dimension. He is currently borrowing power from individuals of this other dimension. The only way to pierce this armor is by collecting specific items imbued with the auras of individuals with strong connections to these beings from the other dimension."

Bowser groaned. "TOO MANY WORDS."

"Collect the things that break Dimentio's shield. They all currently seem to be in one place. I will send you to them. It's cold where they are, though."

* * *

Dimentio appeared in the ice castle and teleported room to room, collecting the items and muttering simile-laden speeches to himself about how lazy his two hench-beings were. As he entered the lowest part of the palace, he encountered a very familiar monster king.

"**DAMMIT, KAMEK!** **NEXT TIME YOU SEND ME SOMEPLACE COLD, WARN ME****!**" Bowser turned to see Dimentio. "YOU!" Dimentio looked around the room for something. He noticed that Dimentio was holding several miscellaneous and seemingly trivial items, and laughed boistrously. "BWAHAHAHA! Seems like you're doing all the collecting work for me!" He tried to breathe a burst of flames, only to get nothing. Dimentio took the opportunity to teleport elsewhere in the abandoned underground (under-ice?) workshop.

"And a hearty hello to you too, old friend. Hearty as the maiden that I have decided to keep alive. But I don't have time to sit and chat with you, Bowser. No, but you shall have a long conversation with this contraption here..." Dimentio slowed down time, floated over to a mechanical head, lifted a wind-up key adjacent to it, wound up the automaton, and placed it within a much larger contraption. Bowser could barely follow the movement, but he had a much bigger problem.

The enormous statue, a reproduction of a guardian robot of the Ratl civilization, activated. Its eyes, the sides of its head, and the designs on its arms began to glow, the eyes yellow, the sides of its head blue, and the arms pink. It straightened up, lifting the iron wall, and immediately put its hands under it to help hold it up. Dimentio made sure to stay out of its gaze as it looked for any entity that was in its databases as an enemy, and it found the strongest: Bowser. Pressurized air vented, and it glared down at him.

"I trust this 'conversation' shall go well, but it shall set a small mind such as yours to sleep... Yes, set it to sleep forever... For this machine will end your game!" Bowser pounded his fist into his hand twice and roared before Dimentio teleported away to put the items in places he believed would be inaccessible to Bowser.


	7. Chapter 7

**ROLLANRATL**

Guardian Statue

Bowser ducked into his shell as the head lowered to slam him, but he was unable to stand until its head was off of his back and out of his reach again. As it was second nature, he tried to breathe fire again, only to get no flames.

He roared, "STUPID COLD PLACE!" The next time the statue tried to hit him, it landed to his left. Bowser punched the side of its head, and that seemed to disorient it for a moment. A shockwave pushed Bowser too far for him to get another strike in, but the damage was done. "HA!" Bowser smirked, ready to dodge. He rolled out of the way of the machine's head and struck it again. In a disoriented stupor, the robot's hold on the ceiling slipped, but it managed to hold it up. However, icicles began falling and shattering on the ground. Two did not break, and instead stuck in the floor. Bowser roared as he waited the head to come into his reach again, but the machine did not lower it again. And it was much too high up for Bowser to jump towards...

The machine began shaking the ceiling again, and more icicles fell. Bowser got an idea. With a mighty leap, he crested one of the blue icicles that had remained relatively whole, then jumped over to another that hadn't broken at all, but instead burrowed a little into the ground. He jumped again and delivered a powerful haymaker to the machine, causing it to get more disoriented. Another shockwave from the machine broke the icicles. Bowser laughed madly again.

"I am a **GENIUS**!" As he shouted, the statue dropped the soft sides of its head, which exploded. Razor spikes remained in their place, but a button seemed to have been revealed atop its head... Additionally, two shafts extended from its abdomen, holding smaller structures that had spikes on their sides. They shot lasers in short bursts, which made bursts of steam whenever they hit the ice below. Bowser dodged the lasers and wondered how to finally destroy this robot.

* * *

Peach's had barely begun reparations from Elder Princess Shroob and Dimentio's first appearance, and already the former was back, this time with an army.

Elder Princess Shroob roared something in the Shroob language that approximately translates to, "Now, we storm this town and take the castle! Kill any who would obstruct us!"

* * *

Bowser body slammed the button atop the head of the machine. It collapsed, with the wall on top of it.

"YEAH!" Bowser threw a fist into the air with jubilation. "I RULE!" He stomped up the stairs, careful not to slip on the ice. He was completely aware of a blast of steam behind him as the automaton disengaged and fell from the larger apparatus...

* * *

**END PROLOGUE**

**[Amperial Note: Yes, I post in chapterlets. Yes, I intend this to be long. I might reupload later with each 'chapter' as a chapter, rather than each chapterlet as a chapter.]**


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